Who I am

I think it's important to get to know people, and categorise them. You can do this any number of ways, looking at them for a few seconds will give you category enough. Is this fair? Meh, you'd be a hypocrite to think it wrong. Categorise every person you can see, think about or imagine but I can bet you're not even able to categorise yourself.

You want to know me? At first glance maybe I'm a brown eyed, brown haired young man, 5'7''-ish and weighing something around 125 pounds. I wear the same outfits often, but I'd like to think I dress well. Physical appearance, that's one aspect. I start speaking, English probably, although I'm almost as articulate in French; you've determined my linguistic aptitudes and preferences. I could entertain a healthy conversation about almost any subject, I could lash you with sophistry, be obstinate to the death, be haughty and elitist, or be a fool. Words.

You've come to the conclusion that I read a dozen books yearly, spend idle time on the computer, and in my younger days have enjoyed video games a bit too much. I could tell you anything you wanted to know about some old games and tv shows, but I doubt you'll even be remotely interested. That's fine. You make a broad statement, I'm a geek, or maybe a nerd, but you can come back to that later.

My report cards and high school diploma would hold that I was a low 80s student, or, if you're an American: mainly Bs with a few As here and there. My teachers could bore you about my talent but lack of motivation. They bored me, but they were wrong, I'm an idiot. My kindergarten teacher wherever she may be, could tell you about the only little tyke she had in 97-98 who could read. My senior English teacher could tell how I suffered from a crippling tendency to procrastinate, and how I would get mediocre marks. Education is central in our society, and you could discern that I conform to it, attending College in Liberal Arts.

For the moment I'm pleasantly over average in most of my courses, and professors seem to think good of me, but that might not last long, considering I've got a midterm tomorrow and I'm not studying.

“I see. So you're a lazy attempt at an intellectual. Ultimately you can't come to grips and motivate yourself. Somewhat of a failure, lost soul.--” Pace yourself, don't come to conclusions just yet, although it would be dishonest of me to dissagree with that.

I hate the cold but I live with it. I can't skii or snowboard, but I can skate like any other Canadian. We'd almost forgotten my nationality, well, there it is. I can sing the anthem bilingually, (to be fair, I can sing a lot of anthems) but I'm not the best of Canadians. Nor am I the best of sons for that matter. I'm not a Hockey player, and although he doesn't want to admit it, Tony Assuncao will never forgive his son for not having picked up his favourite pass time. My dad and I get along fine though, I think. I play soccer, I'd say I'm a decent player, but anatomically, I've got some disadvantages. Flat footedness. Well, whatever.

I write shit about myself. I'm telling presumably anonymous readers a bit too much about myself. I often don't like myself. I sometimes utter the words 'shut up' to ward off embarrassing memories haunting my thoughts, I hate being embarrassed, but you've probably never noticed.

Some people tell me I'm good looking, but I guess I find it hard to believe. Some people tell me I should slouch less, it's bad for my posture, and I agree. Some people tell me I'm a funny guy, that's all fine. I guess people tell me a lot of things.

Sometimes I dress up in suits and think of suicide; at least I would be classy, I consider. But don't worry, I could never do it. I'm an atheist and I'm shit scared of death, as you should be. I've told one girl in my life that I loved her, and meant it. I've tarnished an immature relationship in the past because I had read l'Étranger by Camus and let it get to my head, but oh well, I didn't like her much anyway.

I'd like to bet you don't have just one word to categorise me any more, I'd like to think that I don't either. A life is a little too complex for even the most thorough of scholars to analyse, but any self righteous prick can tell you what you are.